Honestly, it has been a hot minuet since I last posted. Say hello to 2021. Life happens, we get over it.
However, I am not here to apologize for not posting in 10 months. Not the purpose.
Today, I’m feeling a bit inspired by a recent video by Victoria Magrath, aka Inthefrow .
She recently spoke in one of her vlogs about how she is often asked when she and her husband Alex are going to have children, and how she feels so awkward because she is honestly not sure if she ever wants to have children.
This is something I relate to.
I’m only 26, yet suddenly, because I’m now closer to 30 than I am to 20, there is this huge pressure to get married and have kids. Hullo! I’m not even in a relationship! I feel like I have so much time and yet half the advertisements around me show people my age having children. I’m not ready for a child, I’m not even sure I want any, the world today isn’t exactly convincing me it’s worth it either.
There are so many relationships that end in divorce not long after children, parents are so stressed, there is this tiny person that you not have to take care of, who relies on you for everything. I enjoy my freedom, do I really want to give that up?
Also, I work with children in elementary school, I work with kids every day. Do I really want to have one at home as well, when every day in class I already feel stressed from the day? I love the moment when my kids go home on the bus or are picked up. I love my students, don’t get me wrong, but taking care of them daily pushes me and stresses me in ways I’ve never experienced in other situation. Is this something I want to experience for the next 18 years, maybe longer?
Also, KIDS ARE EXPENSIVE. I hardly have enough money to take care of myself, let alone a tiny human. The absolute stress I would have from not only trying to take care of them, but also trying to make sure I provide for them the life they deserve, while also making sure I spend time with me? The thought alone makes me nervous and tired. How to single parents do it? How do mothers sacrifice so much of themselves for their children?
It’s all this and more that make me feel like maybe I don’t even want children. I’d constantly be questioning if it was worth it, sacrificing my time, my money, my love, my passions to take care of a mini-me.
It sounds so selfish, but I don’t want to give up on living my own life to help provide for another. I don’t want to sacrifice who I am to help another grow. I’m afraid that if I had to devote myself to another tiny human to such an extent, I’d lose myself in caring for them.
Possibly one day I will change my mind, but at the moment, I don’t see myself having children any time soon, if ever. How do you guys feel about this topic? are you planning on having children, or are you more interested in waiting like me?